Are you tired of being constantly on edge? Do you find yourself perpetually questioning the safety of your surroundings? Do you suspect everyone of being out to get you?
We've got you covered. Our expert team of licensed paranoid therapists and certified survivalists will guide you through the basics of self-care, from identifying potential threats to building a bunker-proof safe space.
Learn about our patented Safety Protocols for Everyday Life and how to stay one step ahead of the impending doom that is life.
Don't forget to stay hydrated with our special brand of paranoia-fueled water bottles, available for the low, low price of $50 each.