Phase 2: Because Who Cares?

Our privacy policy is as follows:

• We don't really have a privacy policy, but we're going to make one up.
• We'll collect your data and sell it to the highest bidder.
• We'll use it to make targeted ads for our friends at "Bizarro" corporation.
• We'll also use it to send you a lot of spam emails.
• We'll never actually read this policy, so don't bother trying to find any real answers.

What We'll Do With It:

• We'll use it to track your every move, like that one weirdo who always logs in from 4am.
• We'll make a profile of you, including your favorite pizza toppings and the number of cats you have at home.
• We'll sell it to any government agency that asks, just for kicks.
• We'll use it to predict your every move, like that time you ate an extra slice of pizza.

What We Won't Do With It:

• We won't actually read this policy, like we said.
• We won't make you a sandwich, no matter how much you ask.
• We won't give you any free stuff, like that time we said we would.

How To Opt Out:

Ha! Good luck with that. Our lawyers said it's not possible.

Buy Your Way Out

Phase 3: Because We Still Don't Care