After the catastrophic events of Phase One, the world as we knew it has crumbled. The skies are filled with the remnants of last season's fast food wrappers and the once-blue oceans have turned a lovely shade of chartreuse. But fear not, brave adventurer! Phase Two is here, and with it comes a whole new set of problems!
Our team of experts, led by the fearless Captain Cliché, has been hard at work trying to find a way to reverse the damage. They've discovered a hidden underground bunker filled with an assortment of retro-futuristic gadgets and an endless supply of freeze-dried ice cream. But will it be enough?
Join us as we journey through Phase Two, where the laws of physics are mere suggestions and the laws of sanity are optional. Phase Two: Phase Two Point One - where the fun really begins.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Phase Two: Phase Two Point Zero - where the fabric of space-time is mere decoration.
And, if you're feeling particularly... not adventurous, you can always stick around here and watch the Phase Two: Phase Two Point Minus One slideshow. It's a real thrill-ride!
Population: -3,456,789 (and falling)
Unemployment Rate: 100%
Global GDP: -$100,000,000,000 (a decrease of -100%)
Our sponsors for Phase Two are the fine folks at Phase Two Sponsors Inc.. They're a real stand-up company, and we're not just saying that because we're being paid to say it.
Thanks to their generous support, we've been able to purchase an endless supply of neon signs, a state-of-the-art disco ball, and a team of highly trained, expertly armed velociraptors. We couldn't do it without 'em!
Monday: The day the world ends (again)
Tuesday: The day the world ends (again, but with more fireworks)
Wednesday: The day the world ends (for real this time)
Thursday: The day the world ends (but with a really nice lunch special)
Friday: The day the world ends (but with a live concert by a local band)
And so on...
Our team consists of: Captain Cliché, the fearless leader; Dr. Bunsen, the resident expert on all things absurd; and 3456, the team's official "I'm not sure what's going on" guy. We're a diverse team, united in our commitment to the cause.
Together, we'll face the uncharted territories of Phase Two and come out on top... or not.
It all comes down to one thing: the final showdown. Will we survive Phase Two, or will we succumb to its existential dread? The world will soon know.
Thanks for visiting Phase Two. We're glad you could join us on this wild ride.
Phase Three: The Unmaking of the Universe - coming soon to a browser near you!