Phone Hacking 101: For the Truly Desperate

Warning: Phone hacking is not a recommended activity. Please do not attempt to hack your phone. Or anyone else's.

Method 1: The Classic "Distract and Delete"

Step 1: Stare intensely at the screen until the other person looks up.

Step 2: Distract them with a series of unrelated and increasingly absurd questions.

Step 3: While they're still distracted, delete the incriminating text message.

Method 2: The "Scream-and-Cry" Technique

Step 1: Wait until the other person has gone to bed.

Step 2: Scream at the top of your lungs until they wake up.

Step 3: Explain to them that they're being ridiculous, and you had to delete the text message to protect yourself from the crushing despair of their words.