The Great and Powerful Love Prophecy of 2023
By Order of the Cosmic Love Council
IT IS FOREORDINATED BY THE COSMIC FORCES OF LOVE THAT:
- Love will be delivered to your door in the form of a 3 a.m. pizza.
- Your partner will be a certified professional in the field of snuggles.
- The color of the sky will change to a lovely shade of rose gold.
But beware, for it is also foreordained that:
- You will be forced to endure an endless loop of 'I Will Always Love You' by power ballad artists.
- Your love will be tested by the ancient trials of Netflix and chill.
- You will be required to attend an endless series of couples therapy sessions.
Will you accept this prophecy? Accept the Prophecy or Deny the Prophecy?