By the year 3050, you will have finally mustered the courage to ask your crush to be your plus one for a singles' speed dating event, only to realize you both were actually there to scope out the open bar.
You will spend the next 5 years in an on-again-off-again relationship with someone who will eventually leave you for a guy who can recite the entirety of 'The Art of War' in 5 minutes or less.
In a shocking turn of events, your cat will develop a taste for online dating, and before you know it, they'll be swiping right on every catfisher in town, leaving you questioning your life choices.
By 2045, you will finally master the art of making a decent grilled cheese, but only after years of failed attempts and the purchase of 12 different cheese slicers.
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Prophecies served.