Welcome to the PSI-9000, where the air is sweet with desperation and the coffee is always overpriced.

This is a place of hope and despair, where the lost and the lovestruck come to find themselves. Or at least, to find a decent Wi-Fi signal.

Lost Children of the PSI-9000 Romantic Connections: Where Love Goes to Die

Lost Children of the PSI-9000

Are you one of the 17 million lost souls wandering these hallowed halls? Do you yearn for human connection, but all you find is the faint glow of a forgotten phone battery?

We've got you covered. Our expert staff of disaffected youth will guide you through the winding paths of the PSI-9000, pointing out the best places to find your missing socks and the worst places to get a decent Wi-Fi signal.

Overpriced Coffee of Despair Lonely Socks of the PSI-9000