Option 2: Witness Protection Program

Bernie's Exit Strategies

Bernie's Exit Strategy 2: Witness Protection Program. Because who needs a Ponzi scheme when you can live with a new family, in a new place, with a new identity?

Benefits:

• Get a free new life!
• Leave all your financial worries behind (except for the ones you'll have in your new life).
• Meet new people who will love you for who you're not.

Risks:

• You might have to change your name to "Bob" for the rest of your life.
• Adjusting to a new family might be tough.
• You'll have to give up your beloved 80's Pontiac Fiero.

But wait, there's more! If you're not satisfied with the results, you can always try:

Option 3: The Bernie Burrow