Subscription Plateau: A Descent into the Void

Because you clearly can't handle the existential dread of freedom

Subscribe to our newsletter and receive a daily dose of anxiety, despair, and crushing ennui. Because who needs hope and purpose, anyway?

Subscribe to our premium service and get:

• A daily reminder that you're not special
• A weekly summary of all the ways the world is ending
• A monthly review of your life choices

Subscribe now and get a 10% discount on our standard package. Limited time offer, because who knows when the apocalypse will strike?

Disclaimer: Our subscription service is not responsible for any emotional trauma or permanent damage. Side effects may include:

• Excessive existential dread
• Paralyzing anxiety attacks
• Uncontrollable crying fits