Quantum Coffee Machine User Manual

Warning: Do Not Use While Operating Heavy Machinery

This manual is intended for the paranoid and the faint of heart. Please read carefully before operating the Quantum Coffee Machine.

Caution: Side effects may include:

• Existential dread
• Uncontrollable urges to reorganize the universe
• Temporary loss of sanity

For your safety, do not:

• Use the Quantum Coffee Machine while under the influence of caffeine
• Leave it unattended near children or pets
• Attempt to use it as a time machine

Quantum Coffee Machine Subsystems:

• Chaos Generator
• Super Quantum Flux Capacitor

For more information, visit our Troubleshooters Page or contact our team of highly trained quantum physicists at Contact Us.