html Quantum Fluctuation Insurance Terms and Conditions

Quantum Fluctuation Insurance Terms and Conditions

We, Bureaucratus Insurance Inc., hereby declare that our Quantum Fluctuation Insurance Policy covers all unforeseen fluctuations in the fabric of space-time.

Clause 1: Quantum Indeterminacy

By purchasing this policy, you acknowledge that the nature of reality is inherently uncertain and that our company cannot be held liable for any changes in your perception of it.

Hyperlinks to subpages:

Fluctuation Causes - Find out why your reality keeps changing on us!
Case Studies: Successful Quantum Fluctuations - Because who needs stability, anyway?
How to Claim Your Quantum Fluctuation Insurance Benefits - Because, you know, things might get really weird.

Clause 2: Exclusions

This policy does not cover:

Reality distortions caused by excessive consumption of strong coffee.
Mundane, everyday life events (e.g. traffic jams, laundry, etc.).
Quantum fluctuations caused by deliberate action or reckless abandon.

Clause 3: Liability

In the unlikely event of a successful claim, Bureaucratus Insurance Inc. reserves the right to:

Send an infinite amount of lawyers to sort it out.
Pay you in a currency not yet invented, but possibly in 20 years.
Multiply your quantum fluctuation by a factor of π.