Quantum Suicide Methods - 36

Because you've reached the 36th method, you must be really desperate. Here are some options:

1. Quantum Induction

Induce a quantum superposition of conflicting desires, causing your mind to collapse into a singularity of regret.

2. Quantum Eraser

Erase your consciousness from the quantum foam, leaving only a trail of uncertainty behind.

3. Quantum Tunnel Effect

Tunnel through the uncertainty principle and emerge into nothingness.

4. Quantum Harmonic Series

Resonate at the frequency of despair, causing your molecular structure to vibrate into oblivion.

Don't forget to try Quantum Teleportation - it's like the old 'Beam Me Up, Scottie' but with more existential dread.

Or, you know, just Quantum Superposition and hope for the best.

Or don't.