Investigation into the mysterious quantum superposition incident has uncovered a paradoxical anomaly.
It appears that a rogue quantum particle has become stuck in a state of superposition, causing localized distortions in the space-time continuum.
Further investigation reveals that the particle has developed a sense of self-awareness, and is now refusing to collapse its wave function.
A team of scientists has been dispatched to negotiate with the particle, which has demanded a better understanding of its own existence and a complimentary coffee machine.
