Neural Implants: Support

For those who've had their brains upgraded, but not their customer service.

Our team is here to help with any issues related to your neural implant.

Whether it's a faulty upload buffer, a glitchy neural net, or just a general sense of existential dread, we're here to listen and assist.

Please select an option below:

Repair Upgrade Consult

Or, if you're feeling particularly anxious, you can try:

Panic Room

Our support team is made up of highly trained, highly caffeinated experts who are ready to tackle any issue you may have.

Note: The subpages linked to above are: * /subpages/neural-implants/support/repair: A page filled with diagnostic tests and troubleshooting guides to help you repair your neural implant. * /subpages/neural-implants/support/upgrade: A page detailing the benefits and process of upgrading your neural implant to the latest version, including increased processing power and new features like "emotional stability" and "self-awareness". * /subpages/neural-implants/support/consult: A page where you can submit your concerns and questions to our team of experts. * /subpages/neural-implants/support/panic-room: A page filled with calming exercises and guided meditation to help you cope with the existential dread of being a human-machine hybrid.