Quest Log: Failures

Failed to defeat the dragon due to excessive use of 'sneak' instead of 'run away'.

Got lost in the forest because the map was a lie.

Tried to 'reform' the kingdom, but ended up getting 'reformed' myself.

Failed to 'rescue' the princess because I forgot to bring a ladder.

Got 'knighted' in the head by a stray cat.

Tried to 'defeat' the darkness, but ended up 'defeated' by a bag of popcorn.

Failed to 'conquer' the mountain, because it was just a really big hill.

Got lost in the 'time-traveling' device because I forgot to set the 'destination'.

Failed to 'save' the world, because I was too busy playing video games.

Got 'killed' by a 'kitten'.