Raccoon Rampage FAQ

Q: What's the deal with raccoons in the city?

A: We're not entirely sure. They just kind of... showed up. Now they're everywhere. Enjoy your trash cans.

Q: Are raccoons aggressive?

A: Oh, they're not aggressive... until they're not. Just remember: raccoons are like that one aunt at the family reunion. They're fine until they're not fine.

Q: Can I feed them?

A: Only if you want to be their personal chef. They love food. Especially your food. Especially your garbage food. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Q: What's the deal with their little hands?

A: It's like they're trying to tell us something, but we're not sure what. Are they saying, 'Hey, humans, we're smarter than you think!' or 'Can someone please turn off that annoying music?' We're still trying to figure it out.

Q: Can I pet them?

A: No. Just no. They're not exactly cuddly. Unless you're a professional raccoon whisperer, in which case, go for it, we won't judge.