Recipe 1: The Art of Doing Nothing
Ingredients:
1 cup of procrastination powder
2 tablespoons of distraction sauce (optional)
A dash of existential dread
A pinch of social media scrolling
Instructions:
Preheat your browser to maximum zoom.
Stir in a healthy dose of apathy.
Add a pinch of ennui.
Repeat the process until you've wasted an entire day.
Side Effects:
Mild to severe feelings of guilt and shame.
Sudden loss of productivity.
Uncontrollable urges to binge-watch cat videos.