Resolution Resolution: The Art of Not Showing Up

It's the holiday season, and you know what that means: a plethora of social engagements that you can easily opt out of.

But fear not, dear reader, for we have the solution for you!

Introducing the Resolution Resolution, a foolproof guide to attending one work event per month without actually attending.

With our expert advice and witty humor, you'll be a master of the art of not showing up in no time.

And don't worry, we won't judge you (much). Click below to start your journey:

Resolution Resolution 101 The Art of Crafting the Perfect Excuse The Blame Game: Assigning Responsibility for Your Absence

Resolution Resolution 101

The first step in mastering the Resolution Resolution is to start small. Begin by skipping one work event per month. It's easier than you think, and who needs human interaction, anyway?

But wait, there's more! With our expert guidance, you'll be able to:

Perfect the art of sending a polite, yet non-committal email
Develop a convincing "I'm running late" story
Learn to nod and smile without actually engaging with others

Don't believe us? Try it out yourself! Click below for more:

Resolution Resolution 201: The Next Level

The Art of Crafting the Perfect Excuse

At the Resolution Resolution, we know that a good excuse is key to a successful "I'm not attending" campaign.

But what's a good excuse, you ask? Ah, my friend, it's all about creativity and conviction. Here are a few tips to get you started:

Suddenly remember a family obligation
Claim a sudden case of "personal emergency"
Conveniently forget your password (and your phone, and your car keys)

And remember, the key to a great excuse is to never, ever, ever admit it's a lie.

Want more excuses? Click below:

Advanced Excuses: The Masterclass

The Blame Game: Assigning Responsibility for Your Absence

It's not just about not showing up, it's about assigning responsibility for your absence. A good "it was your idea" can go a long way.

But how do you play the blame game? Here's a few tips:

Suddenly "forget" the meeting's location
Claim the boss "told" you to stay home
Blame it on the IT department (they're always a safe bet)

And remember, the goal is to shift the blame, not to actually attend the event.

Want more tips? Click below:

Resolution Resolution 202: The Advanced Course