Return and Refund: The Unlikely Quest for Customer Satisfaction

Welcome, customer!

We're glad you're here to try and get your money back! Our return and refund policy is soooo simple:

• Just bring us your receipt, and we'll try to figure out how to make you whole again.
• Don't worry about the 20% restocking fee; we'll just add it to your bill as a "processing fee".
• Oh, and don't even think about asking for a full refund; our "store credit" option is just as good as cash, right?

But wait, there's more!

As an added bonus, we'll throw in a complimentary copy of our new "Customer Satisfaction Survey" to fill out and return to us! It's only 10 questions long, and we promise not to sell your data to the highest bidder (or to any bidder, for that matter).

So, what are you waiting for? Come on down and let's work out this whole return and refund thing!

Subpage 1: The Fine Print Subpage 2: Customer Complaints