Where our overpriced, underperforming, and totally-not-a-ripoff rides will leave you feeling... well, underwhelmed.
Join us for our signature "Thrill Ride"! This 10-minute journey will take you on a wild adventure of boredom and disappointment. Only $1000 for the experience!
Or, try our "Extreme Thrill" for the real daredevils out there! This 20-minute ride will leave you questioning every life choice you've ever made. Only $5000 for the experience! (Limited time offer)
Rip-Off Beach: Where the only thing more overpriced is the sunburn you'll get!