Welcome to the most overpriced, underwhelming river cruise experience of a lifetime! Our luxurious cruise liner, the "Tyrant's Revenge," offers the most breathtakingly dull views of the most unremarkable rivers in the world.
Join us on a week-long voyage of tedium, as we sail past fields of identical-looking corn, past rivers that are exactly the same shade of brown as the last one you saw, and past the occasional cow that just stares at you.
Learn more about our carefully crafted itinerary of thrillingly dull activities and attractions.
Don't forget to try our signature "Rip Off River Cruise" cocktail, made with the finest cheap liquor and a splash of disappointment.