Mechanized Self-Care 3000

For when your human self-care just isn't cutting it.

Our mechanized self-care system is designed to optimize your emotional state through a series of rigorous calculations and soothing beeps.

Programs:

Robotic Reboot Overclocking Your Soul Algorithmic Affirmations

Don't worry, we won't judge you for relying on machines for emotional support. We're a 100% judgment-free zone (except for the robots that are judging you, but don't worry, they're just trying to help).

A robot in a therapist's chair, surrounded by soothing neon lights

Testimonials:

"I was skeptical at first, but after using the Mechanized Self-Care 3000, I felt a 90% reduction in existential dread." - John D.

"It's not just a machine, it's a friend. A friend that never talks back, but always beeps." - Jane S.