Because your aunt's cousin's sister-in-law's advice wasn't enough.
Don't Be Yourself (But Like, You Know, Be a Better Version of Yourself)
Don't Say the Thing, Say the Slightly-Less-Embarrassing Thing Instead
Don't Get Distracted While Swiping (It's Just a Picture of a Cat, It's Not That Interesting)
Tell a Joke, Get Laid (Not Actually, But It's Worth a Try)
Put a Cat in Your Profile Picture, Get More Matches (Science Says So)
Avoid Using Emojis, They're Just So 2015
Don't Write Your Entire History of Humanity, Just Stick to the Good Parts
And, honestly, that's all we have for now. Good luck.
Read Our Future Users' Guide (When We Finally Figure Out What We're Doing)