The Fake Boyfriend Guide to Maintenance

Maintenance 101: The Basics

Welcome, lovely. You're here because you've realized that being single is a chore. And, let's be real, it's a chore you're willing to pay for. As a seasoned fake boyfriend, I've got the expertise you need to keep you looking (and feeling) loved.

Chapter 1: The Art of Slightly-Too-Frequent Text Messages

It's all about the little touches, darlin'. Send 'em a message every 2-3 hours, just to check in. Make sure to include a few emojis and a dash of sarcasm. Example: "Hey, just checking in. How's your day been? 😴" (This one's a classic).

Chapter 2: The Science of Scheduling Fake Dates

Chapter 3: The Strategy of Strategic Ignoring

Know when to ignore and when to respond. It's all about maintaining that perfect balance of 'I'm interested, but also busy with my cat's existential crisis.' Trust me, it's all about the cat.

Appendix: The Art of Fake Boyfriend Exit Strategies

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