Annual Report 2023: A Year of Unrelenting Mediocrity
A Year of Unrelenting Mediocrity: By the Numbers
Here at Neo-Brutalist Inc., we're pleased to announce that 2023 was a year of unrelenting mediocrity. Our sales figures were down 5% from last year, our profits were up 2%, and our employees were forced to wear the same outfit for the entire summer. But hey, at least we're consistent?
- Total Sales: $10,000,000.00
- Profits: $1,000,000.00
- Employee Satisfaction: 50% (we're pretty sure that's the average for any job)
Awards and Accolades
We're proud to announce that our team has been awarded the "Best Use of Clipart in a Resume" award by a prestigious industry magazine. We're also honored to have been named one of the "Top 10 Most Uninspiring Companies to Work For" by a leading employment review website.
And that's not all folks! We've also been accused of stealing our competitors' lunch money and having the worst office coffee machine in the city. But we're working on it.
Management's Message
Here's what our fearless leader, Bert the CEO , has to say about the year's events:
"I'd like to thank our employees for their tireless efforts to achieve the bare minimum. Your dedication to doing just enough to get by is truly inspiring. I'm proud to be your boss."