By the power vested in us, we decree:
That all male subjects of the realm shall don a majestic moustache by the end of the quarter.
Failure to comply shall result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Exile to the land of the bald
- Forfeiture of all ale-making privileges
- Mandatory attendance to the School of Facial Hair Appreciation
Furthermore, a special task force, the "Moustache Rangers", shall be established to enforce this decree.
Read more on the Moustache Rangers' mission and their arsenal of moustache-themed torture devices.