Emergency Response Procedures for the Utterly Ridiculous

When the world has gone utterly, completely bonkers, follow these procedures to survive:

1. Put on your best Safety Gear and prepare for impact.
2. Call Emergency Services for assistance.
3. Proceed to the nearest Safe Zone for further instructions.

Special Cases:

1. In the event of a Robot Uprising, follow Protocol 7-B-4.
2. During an Avian Pandemic, use the Chicken Protocol.

Remember, in a world gone utterly, completely bonkers, it's every person for themselves.