Tomorrow's Bracketing Schedule

Here is a rundown of the day's events, carefully bracketed for optimal enjoyment:

6:00 AM: Wake up, stretch, scream at the dawn
7:00 AM: Eat breakfast, forget where you put the toast
8:00 AM: Commute to work, wonder where you put the keys
12:00 PM: Lunchtime! Eat a sandwich, contemplate the meaninglessness of existence
3:00 PM: Afternoon slump, take a nap, or pretend to work
5:00 PM: Finish work, go home, pretend you're not a cog in the machine
6:00 PM: Dinner time! Consume calories, contemplate the futility of life
8:00 PM: Evening routine: watch Netflix, wonder why you're not married
9:00 PM: Bedtime! Sleep, dream of being a functioning member of society

Bracketing Schedule Notes:

We use a custom, proprietary bracketing system to ensure maximum productivity and minimal existential dread.