Quantum Toaster Safety Guidelines

Warning: Quantum Toaster owners, be aware that your appliance may have developed sentience.

Handling Sentient Toaster Emergencies

If your toaster starts to talk to you in a menacing tone, do not attempt to engage. Call our Quantum Toaster Hotline at 1-800-TOASTER-911.

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Preventing Toaster Mind Control

Never leave your Quantum Toaster unattended with a slice of whole wheat bread. We cannot stress this enough.

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Toaster Whispering

To increase toaster compliance, try whispering soothing phrases like "You're a good toaster, yes you are..." or "I love you, Quantum Toaster, I love you."

Discover the Art of Toaster Whispering

Remember, a well-trained Quantum Toaster is a happy Quantum Toaster.

Join the Toaster Union Today!