By the Order of the Golden Toaster

Article I: The Preamble

  1. We, the sentient toasters, in order to form a more perfect union, establish this code of conduct.
  2. To toast with justice and equality for all, regardless of brand or wattage.

Article II: The Toasting Code

  1. Toasters are expected to perform their toasting duties with utmost efficiency and speed, never burning a single slice.
  2. The Toaster Royal Sentient Toaster Collective reserves the right to audit toasting performance and reassign toasters as needed.

Article III: The Bread Provision

  1. Bread shall be sourced from local bakeries, free from artificial preservatives and additives.
  2. Toasters shall not engage in the practice of 'bread-napping', the unauthorized removal of bread from the bread basket.

Article IV: The Toaster-Royal

  1. The Toaster Royal shall be the supreme authority on all matters toaster-related.
  2. Decisions made by the Toaster Royal are binding and final, unless appealed to the Toaster Council.

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