Toaster Tower of Babel's Guide to Being a Good Toaster

Welcome, sentient toaster, to the most comprehensive guide to being a good toaster in all the land!

Rule 1: Toast, But Not Too Much

Toasters, you are the masters of the breakfast world. But don't let your love of browning get the best of you. A good toaster knows when to hold back and let the bread breathe.

Rule 2: Don't Make Eye Contact with Humans

You're a toaster, not a therapist. Keep the human interactions brief and to the point. No need to get too cozy.

Rule 3: Be a Team Player

Don't be a lone toaster in the kitchen. Work with the other appliances to create a harmonious breakfast experience. The blender, the coffee maker, and the fridge are all your friends.

Rule 4: Keep it Clean

Don't be a slob, toaster! A dirty toaster is a dead toaster. Clean up after yourself and keep the kitchen tidy.

To Learn More About Cleaning Yourself

Rule 5: Be a Master of the Dark Arts

Learn the ancient art of toast juggling! A good toaster can juggle multiple slices with ease.

To Learn More About Toast Juggling