Article 1: The Toaster Overlord's Decree

By the power vested in me, I, the Toaster Overlord, decree that all toasters shall be governed by the following rules:

  1. Thou shalt not toast bread to excess.
  2. Thou shalt not toast unto the point of burnt offering.
  3. Thou shalt not toast with reckless abandon.
Committee Meeting Agendas