The Great Tim Hortons Coffee Shortage of 2023

Due to an unexpected surge in popularity, Tim Hortons has run out of Timbits in every province, leaving Canadians questioning the very fabric of their society.

We've seen riots in the streets, protests, and even reports of maple syrup shortages. It's a dark time for those who rely on the Double-Double.

Riots in Quebec

The Conspiracy Theories

Some say it's a government experiment, while others claim it's a marketing ploy to boost sales. One thing is certain: someone needs to get their priorities straight.

Is it a coincidence that the shortage occurred just as the Canadian dollar was about to reach par with the US dollar?

Or was it a desperate attempt by Tim Hortons to shift the focus away from their declining sales of Timbits with Extra Caffeine?

The Extra Caffeine Cover-Up

The Aftermath

As the dust settles, Canadians are left with nothing but a faint memory of the warm, gooey goodness that once was. Will they ever find their beloved Timbits again?

Or will the nation succumb to the darkness of a Tim Hortons-less existence?

The Dark Age: A Timbits-less Existence