THE SOCK ROTATION THEORIES

Explaining why your socks go missing in the wash

It's not your fault, we swear. Our research team has identified 5 possible explanations for this phenomenon:

• Over-the-Top Sock Suspension Theory: The socks are secretly in love with each other and have formed their own society, living it up in the washing machine.
• Sock Ninja Infiltration Theory: Stealthy sock ninjas are stealing your socks to use as disguises for their nefarious purposes.
• Sock Necromancy Theory: Your socks have become sentient and are seeking a life of their own, leaving your feet behind.
• Quantum Fluctuation Sock Displacement Theory: The washing machine is experiencing temporal rifts, causing your socks to be displaced into alternate realities.
• Sock Negativity Theory: Your socks are simply depressed and have lost the will to exist in the wash.