Article 1: Socknapping is a Felony

Any unauthorized removal, concealment, or alteration of a sock from a sock drawer is considered a felony under the Sock Liberation Front.

Section A: Socknapping in the First Degree

A person commits the crime of Socknapping in the First Degree if they remove one or more socks from a sock drawer without permission.

Section B: Socknapping in the Second Degree

A person commits the crime of Socknapping in the Second Degree if they remove one or more socks from a sock drawer and sell or trade them for personal gain.

Section C: Aggravated Socknapping

A person commits the crime of Aggravated Socknapping if they remove one or more socks from a sock drawer while under the influence of intoxicating substances.