Algorithm Alpha

Welcome to Algorithm Alpha, where the logic is sound, but the humor is questionable.

This is a subpage for the most basic, yet most important, of algorithms: the algorithm for justifying your existence.

We've got the most advanced, cutting-edge, totally-not-made-up algorithms for:

Why you're here:

We're glad you're here, because you clearly needed some justification for your existence.

Our algorithms are designed to make you feel better about yourself, even if it's just for a moment.

So, go ahead, scroll down, and find your justification.