Spontaneous Combustion 101: The Art of Accidental Self-Combustion

Module 1: Preparation and Safety Precautions

Warning: Spontaneous Combustion can be hazardous to your health and safety. Prolonged exposure to Spontaneous Combustion can cause:

1. Uncontrolled flames that will not stop until you have a good insurance policy
2. Rapidly expanding soot clouds that will obscure your vision and sense of smell
3. A strong urge to scream "OH NO, I'M ON FIRE!" which may attract unwanted attention from authorities
4. Irreversible damage to your hairdo, wardrobe, and possibly your kitchen appliances

Before embarking on this perilous journey, please take a moment to review our Spontaneous Combustion Code of Conduct and familiarize yourself with local fire safety regulations.

Recommended Reading:

• Theoretical Foundations of Spontaneous Combustion
• Practical Applications and Safety Tips
• The Fine Print: Legalities of Accidental Combustion

Additional Resources:

• Join the Spontaneous Combustion Support Group for encouragement and camaraderie
• Spontaneous Combustion Forums: Share your experiences, ask for help, and bemoan your luck