Joining the Squirrel Mafia: A Guide for the Ambitious

Are you tired of living in a world where squirrels are just seen as cute, fluffy creatures? Do you yearn for the respect and power that comes with being a part of the most feared and revered squirrel syndicate in the land? Look no further than the Squirrel Mafia!

To join, simply follow these simple steps:

• Step 1: Find a secluded spot to meet with our representative, preferably with a clear view of the surrounding area.
• Step 2: Wear a suit and tie, or a nice pair of sunglasses, to show your respect for the organization.
• Step 3: Be prepared to recite the Squirrel Mafia's oath, a secret phrase that will be revealed to you upon initiation.
• Step 4: Perform a few impressive acrobatics to demonstrate your agility and cunning.
• Step 5: Sign the contract, which includes a clause that states you'll never, ever, eat a single piece of acorn without asking first.

Once you've completed these steps, you'll be welcomed into the Squirrel Mafia with open arms, and a complimentary bagel.

Hyperlinks:

• Learn more about our philosophy and core values
• See our organizational chart, and where you'll fit in
• Discover our plan to corner the market on the lucrative acorn industry