The Exceptional Excesses Committee (EEC) has reported a surge in complaints about the sheer quantity of excellence in our city. Citizens are complaining that too much joy, too much productivity, and too many perfectly good decisions are making life feel dull and uneventful.
Residents are reporting an overabundance of gourmet restaurants, cafes, and food trucks, leading to feelings of overwhelming options and crippling decision fatigue. 'I just want a plain old burger,' says local citizen Jane Doe, 'but no, I have to choose between 12 artisanal bison options and a side of locally-sourced, organic quinoa.'