Standard Operating Procedure 2023

For All Personnel

Section 1: Emergency Response Protocols

• Article 1.01: In case of a zombie apocalypse, evacuate immediately and seek shelter in a designated safe zone.
• Article 1.02: In case of a robot uprising, call in a favor to your robot friends and ask for their assistance.
• Article 1.03: In case of a spontaneous combustion event, do not panic. Simply wave your hand gently in the direction of the flames and shout "Halt!"

Section 2: Prohibited Activities

• Article 2.01: No eating of the cafeteria's free pizza on Fridays. It's a trap.
• Article 2.02: No playing of the "I Will Survive" song during office hours. It's too catchy.
• Article 2.03: No wearing of the invisible socks. It's a distraction.

Section 3: Special Privileges

• Article 3.01: All employees are entitled to two free hugs from their colleagues during their first week of work.
• Article 3.02: All employees are entitled to one free coffee refill during their shift.
• Article 3.03: All employees are entitled to a 15-minute break to scroll through memes on their phone.

Section 4: Appendices

• Appendix A: Important Numbers and Phone Numbers
• Appendix B: Important Dates and Holidays
• Appendix C: Important People and Their Contact Information

Section 5: Revision History

• Revision 1.0: Initial Draft
• Revision 1.1: Added Article 1.03
• Revision 1.2: Changed font size to 18px