Lucy's Prototype 666: Stapler of Chaos

Behold, the most advanced stapler in the galaxy. This behemoth of a stapler can bind anything, anywhere, at any time. But be warned, it has a tendency to turn its users into mindless automatons, forced to staple everything in sight.

Features:

• High-speed stapling: 3000 staples per minute
• Advanced binding algorithms: can staple anything from paper clips to your favorite aunt's sweater
• Self-repairing: can fix its own jammed staples, but not its own ego

Subpages:

• Lukas' Prototype 42: The Gentleman's Stapler - for when you need a stapler that won't ruin your bespoke suit
• Amy's Firmware 9000: The Stapler of Tomorrow - for when you need a stapler that can predict your every move