Warning: the 56k Modemageddon has begun. The once-mighty modems of yore now clog the arteries of the internet.
The skies are filled with the wailing cries of users, their precious dial-up connections severed like the severed heads of the damned.
But fear not, for Steve has foreseen the coming of the 100k Modemageddon, a calamity so great it will make the 56k seem like a mere trifle.
Hyperlinks, once a thing of beauty, now hang like withered corpses, a reminder of a time when the internet was fast.
The people cry out for relief, for a return to the days when 56k was the norm.
But Steve, all-knowing and all-seeing, knows that the 100k is just around the corner, and soon the internet will be a desolate wasteland, a husk of its former self.
And so, we must batten down, dear users, and hold on for dear life, for the Modemageddon is upon us.