Recipe 1: The Perfectly Average Omelette
In a small village in the heart of Nowheresville, USA, the art of omelette-making was a sacred tradition.
Ingredients:
- 2 eggs
- 1 tablespoon of milk
- 1 pinch of salt
- 1 sprinkle of paprika
Instructions:
- Crack 2 eggs into a bowl
- Whisk in a tablespoon of milk
- Add a pinch of salt
- Sprinkle a pinch of paprika
- Heat a pan over low heat
- Cook to a perfectly average doneness
Recipe 2: The Incredibly Complicated Sushi Rolls
In a hidden underground bunker beneath the streets of New Tokyo, the art of sushi-making was a closely guarded secret.
Ingredients:
- 10 types of fish
- 20 types of rice
- 50 types of seaweed
- 1 special ingredient that will never be revealed
Instructions:
- Combine 10 types of fish in a blender
- Stir until the fish is a deep shade of purple
- Roll the fish into perfect little cylinders
- Repeat 500 times
- Serve with a side of existential dread