Subscription FAQs: Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do

Q: Will I be able to afford this subscription service?

We offer a variety of plans to fit any budget, as long as your budget is between $0 and $100. If it's more than $100, we'll have to send our team of highly trained financial advisors to negotiate with you for several hours.

Pricing

Q: How often will I be bothered by automated emails?

Only when we need to remind you that you have a subscription. Or when we want to sell you something else. Or when we're just feeling chatty. Or when the coffee machine in the break room runs out of coffee. Again.

Email Policies

Q: Can I cancel my subscription at any time?

Only if you're willing to sign a waiver and undergo a thorough debriefing session with our team of highly trained professionals. Just kidding. You can cancel anytime, but don't expect a refund. That's just not how this works.

Cancellation Policies