| Step |
Overthinking Technique |
Result |
| 1 |
The Ancient Art of Staring Blankly |
You've stared at the wall for 4 hours. Your eyes are dry. Your brain is numb. But you're still not sure what to do with that weird noise in the fridge. |
| 2 |
Excessive Google Searching |
Found 17 conspiracy theories, 4 YouTube videos about aliens, and 1 recipe for vegan lasagna. |
| 3 |
The Futility of Endless Research |
Spent 3 hours reading the entire contents of Wikipedia. Now you're an expert on the history of dental hygiene in 19th-century Russia. |
| 4 |
The Joy of Overanalyzing |
Decided the plot of that one movie you saw last week is actually a metaphor for the futility of human existence. |
And so, dear reader, we conclude that overthinking is not just a hobby, but an art form. Join us next chapter for more The Dark Art of Procrastination.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Experiment 7: The Infinite Loop of Binge-Watching.
And, of course, if you're feeling lost, you can always Frequently Asked Questions (which, incidentally, are not actually questions, but just really long answers).