Section 1, Article 1, Paragraph 1: The English Breakfast Tea Protocol is a comprehensive guide to the most civilized and refined way of consuming the most sacred beverage in the world: tea.
Section 1, Article 1, Paragraph 2: It is imperative that you follow this protocol to the letter, or risk being labeled a Philistine and cast out into the cold, dark world of unsophisticated tea drinkers.
Earl Grey, Assam, Ceylon... the list goes on and on.
Dragon Well, Sencha, Matcha... the list goes on and on.
Tai Ping, Wuyi... the list goes on and on.
To properly prepare English Breakfast Tea, one must first heat the kettle until the steam escapes with a loud and piercing whistle.
Use one tea bag, or, if you are a true connoisseur, one teaspoon of loose-leaf tea.
Add milk and sugar to taste, but be warned: too much sugar is a travesty.
Appendix A: A Guide to Proper Tea Etiquette.
Appendix B: A List of Approved Tea Parties.
Appendix C: A Glossary of Tea Terms.