The Uncoordinated Chaos of Dodgeball: A Crash Course

Lesson 1: The Basics

Welcome to the world of dodgeball, where the only rule is that there are no rules. Or, at the very least, no one bothered to tell us what the rules are.

Today we're going to cover the fundamentals of dodgeball. Or, rather, the lack thereof.

• Dodge the ball: This is the most basic principle of dodgeball. Just stand there and look pretty while someone throws a ball at you, then run away when it gets close.
• Don't get hit: This is the opposite of the first rule. Try not to get hit by the ball, but don't get too attached to your limbs; they're replaceable.
• Make friends: Dodgeball is all about making friends. Like, literally, making friends with the other people in the room. Unless you're on a team, in which case, it's more like making enemies.

And that's it! You're now a certified dodgeball expert. Go forth and dodge, my friend.

Next Lesson: Dodgeball Sabotage - The Art of Thwarting Your Opponent's Progress Advanced Dodgeball Strategies for the Truly Ambitious

Disclaimer: Do not actually play dodgeball in real life. Unless you're a professional. Or, you know, an idiot. In which case, please do not play dodgeball in real life. Ever.