Tentacle Removal FAQ

Q: What is the Tentacle Removal Service?

A: We're a team of highly trained, heavily armed specialists who will remove any tentacles that have invaded your home, your office, or your mind.

Q: How do you remove tentacles?

A: We use a combination of our patented Tentaculator 3000, a custom-built tentacle-removal tool that's been tested on over 500 real-world tentacles and proven to be 99.9% effective.

Q: What kind of tentacles can I request removal for?

• Octopus
• Starfish
• Seahorse
• Cephalopod (we have special training for those)
• Other (just ask, we're flexible)

Q: Is your service safe?

A: Our team is insured, bonded, and has completed extensive training in tentacle-removal safety procedures. We also have a 24/7 emergency tentacle-removal hotline for any unexpected tentacle-related incidents.

Q: How do I contact you for removal services?

A: Just call our 1-800-TENTACLE number or email us at tentacle-removal-service.com for a free, no-obligation consultation.