Welcome, fellow film critics, to the movie that defies explanation. A film so poorly written it's as if the screenwriter took a handful of prophets, threw them into a blender, and hit puree.
The movie starts with a promising premise: a man, played by a forgettable actor, discovers a magical artifact that grants him immense power. But, of course, things quickly go off the rails as our hero's quest for justice is thwarted by an army of poorly designed enemies.
But don't worry, it gets worse. The plot twist is a doozy: the hero's arch-nemesis is, in fact, his long-lost sister! Or is it his identical twin? Or maybe he's just a really bad accountant?
And don't even get us started on the ending, which is as satisfying as a slap in the face. Spoiler alert: it's a bunch of nonsense.
Want to know more about the movie's "logic"? Click here for a deeper dive into the film's convoluted plot.