Q: What is a "Salon"? Is this like, a hair place?

No, our "salon" is a place where you pay us money to listen to us talk.

We offer services like "Self-Discovery", "Emotional Rebalancing", and "Existential Dread".

Q: What kind of people come here?

Everyone! We have clients who are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, clients who are just looking for a good excuse to avoid their in-laws, and clients who just really love our aesthetic.

Q: Can I just come here and yell at someone?

No. That's what your in-laws are for.

But seriously, we have a strict "no-yelling" policy. We're not here to be your personal punching bag.

Q: Do you have any "services" for non-human clients?

We have a special "Pet Therapy" program for clients with anxiety issues, but only if they're cats.

No dogs, we're not made of kibble.